This post is a rant, pure and simple ... brought on from too many personal experiences, as well as those of my friends.
Why are there so many people who go through life apparently without a thought about the mess they will leave behind when they die? I am amazed at how many people do not leave any life insurance for their families. Not just too little, but zero, zip, nil.
If you are an adult, you need to carry life insurance. Even if you are young and healthy, you need life insurance. Life is uncertain. Hey, how a bout a prepaid preplanned funeral ... better yet!
How about a will? Do you have "stuff"? Do you have family? Make it easy on them and designate who gets what. How many families have been torn apart over human greed and a deceased family member's possessions?
Here is a pet peeve. For some reason most older people seem to go into denial about their impending departure. The hoarding of things over a lifetime for purely "sentimental reasons" is one of the traps they fall into. Then, when the inevitable happens and they die, some poor family member has to be saddled with the additional burden of sorting through and cleaning up the mess left behind, right along dealing with the grief. Yeah, we all have the spare time in our own lives to do this, right?
I am just short of 50. But I have been sifting through my personal effects and getting them down to a manageable lot. Hey, and as an added bonus, I don't have a problem losing things! I don't want to leave a mess behind.
The majority of people accumulate way too much stuff in their lifetimes - as if material things were a key to happiness. Hate to move? A minimalist lifestyle will make moving a snap. Look at it this way: stuff you have lying around mostly unused and rarely used is money spent that could have been saved or invested.
We all have heard of the person who learns they have a terminal condition (as if life itself were not one!) and are told to put their house in order. Why wait? Why not get and keep your house in order?
If you have loved ones, show your love for them by having your affairs in proper order so that your final chapter is not one of having left a burden for them to bear in addition to their grief. Be considerate. Don't leave a mess for someone else to have to deal with.
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5 comments:
I agree. I have a mess to get cleaned up before that time. However, getting your house in order does not always fix the mess. My wife's late stepfather had his estate very well organized with a very specific will. My mother-in-law, the executor of his will, will be in court in the next few weeks three years after his death trying to deal with his children, who won't accept his wishes. They have harrassed her every minute of the time since his death, beginning the morning after.
I agree. I have a mess to get cleaned up before that time. However, getting your house in order does not always fix the mess. My wife's late stepfather had his estate very well organized with a very specific will. My mother-in-law, the executor of his will, will be in court in the next few weeks three years after his death trying to deal with his children, who won't accept his wishes. They have harrassed her every minute of the time since his death, beginning the morning after.
Right on! My mother used to read me her will when I was 10yrs old. Her children knew the deal, who got what and we are civil, we are our mothers children and her greatest wish would be that we not bicker over anything. Makes it easier when your only parent is poor. My partner and I made wills at age 33. Being gay and the lack of acceptance of ME on her families part, made it necessary. We also have power of atty over each other for any medical crisis and two executors who understand our wishes. (She is in a coma, I am brain dead, yada yada) We spelled it ALLL out. WHY people don't do this is beside me. We went to a lawyer but you can even do it on the cheap. Aunt Vi (102) even pre bought her coffin and her tombstone is all engraved except for final date! I live a minimalistic life, as does my partner. Aunt Vi had a few things, but she began giving the away years ago. I have been sending out old photos to family members who want them. I arrived naked, will depart naked, and leave behind only my deeds and perhaps the memory of Diane J Standiford. (As you can garner, this is a pet peeve of mine too!)
GMM, that is so sad. To not respect one's wishes in death is so disrespectful of that person's entire life. No matter what they wanted, it was THEIR life.
GMM - Very true. My mom is going through something like that with her deceased husband's daughter. She is pretty much going to walk away from the mess, because at 76, it just isn't worth the stress and time.
Diane - Glad we see eye-to-eye. Yep, naked in, naked out. Millionaire Percy Ross used to say, "he who gives while he lives, knows where it goes"!
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