In the prologue of Michael Shermer's book The Believing Brain: From Ghosts and Gods to Politics and Conspiracies---How We Construct Beliefs and Reinforce Them as Truths writes the following words which sum up my situation perfectly:
I believe that the truth is out there but that it is rarely obvious and almost never foolproof. What I want to believe based on emotions and what I should believe based on evidence do not always coincide. I'm a skeptic not because I do not want to believe, but because I want to know.
Belief can be the most comforting special effect our brains can produce. Knowledge can often be unsettling, downright troubling. That is why most of us hold our perceptions of truth at least a little loosely. The wise person is always open minded to the extent that new light will be welcomed.
It was physicist Richard P. Feynman who observed:
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.
It seems to me the case that most of us have trouble accepting the degree to which our emotions form our worldview. That is just the nature of humans.
This is why I always enjoyed the character Mr. Spock of Star Trek. I always admired his firm commitment to logic, mostly jettisoning emotion. However, being part human as he was, his emotions did take the stage occasionally.
Ah, it's that struggle of emotions versus reason that makes life so challenging, so interesting, and at times so ugly and frustrating.
Well, I try with varying degrees of success to emulate Spock.